Stop the press my fellow man, there is a lot more to consider now than before. First off let’s dispense with the gory details as quickly as possible. Your partner has just given birth to a living being the size of a watermelon, and she may have also suffered a tear in the very place that you are eager to do business in, which needs time to heal I might add. Her hormone levels are still off course, she may also be self-conscious about her post-pregnancy body, but most importantly she is likely to be exhausted and overwhelmed from the birth so at least let her unpack her hospital bag before you decide to raise the matter again!
Your enthusiasm is to be commended especially if you were attendance at the birth, front row that is, and not in the safety zone adjacent her head, as a high percentage of men find it difficult to re-engage sexual activity with their partners after witnessing the delivery. Furthermore the impending sleepless nights and the new resident in the bedroom can often quash any sort of bump-bump, so sex may be the last thing on either of your minds when you go to bed in the eve.
It is also important to note that it is possible to become pregnant again very soon after having a baby, after 21 days in fact, and many unplanned pregnancies can actually occur in the first few months after childbirth. Being aware of all the available methods of contraception, especially as there are those that affect you, means that you can contribute more to that decision as a couple.
Abstinence
Yes, I’m serious. In plain speak: no sex equals no baby. Though, this is more suitable for the Zen Buddhist fathering types as it takes an insurmountable degree of willpower. There is no get out clause here if you get my meaning, as even ejaculation without penetration can still lead to pregnancy.
“I think it became abstinence by accident, we were both so tired, it was the last thing on both our minds, the topic of contraception didn’t come up until well after our baby was in his own room and life began to return to normality, sure I missed the intimacy but we were thankful of the rest” says Mark Higgins, father of one.
On the opposite spectrum to abstinence is the natural method of contraception which involves your partner determining when she is most likely to get pregnant, and then avoiding sex during these times. By keeping a detailed record it tells her when she is most fertile and to take extra measures to avoid pregnancy. It has the advantage that no chemicals are used and also allows couples who want to get pregnant to know when the best time to have sex is. Understandably the figures for its effectiveness vary as it is heavily dependent on preciseness, mutual co-operation and determination on both partners’ parts.
Building Barriers
Barrier methods include male and female condoms, diaphragms and caps. To avoid discomfort during intercourse it is best advised to use an additional lubricant with condoms to help make sex more comfortable for your partner. A diaphragm or cap is a flexible rubber or silicone dome which is inserted into the vagina before intercourse. A spermicide is often used with this method to destroy sperm.
“I was never really a fan of condoms - it felt like being a teenager again, but my wife was breastfeeding at the time and we both felt that this was the best and safest method which did not affect the breast milk in any way” says Tim Reilly, father of two.
The Pill & Mini Pill
Around since the 1960’s it is still the most popular form of female contraception. There are a large number of pills available, most of which contain two different hormones (oestrogen and progestogen) and are taken daily at the around the same time for three weeks followed by a week’s pill-free interval. They are suitable for most women, but should not be taken by breastfeeding mothers. Women over 35 should check with their GP first. The ‘mini-pill’ however can be taken by women over 35 or breastfeeding mothers, as it only contains the one hormone – progestogen.
The Implant
An implant is a small device containing the female hormone progestogen, similar to a matchstick; it is placed under the skin on the inside of the upper arm. It involves a minor surgical procedure which can be performed by most GPs. The main advantage of the implant is in its effectiveness (99%) and the fact that once it is in place you do not need to think of contraception for three years, however the possible side effects for your partner may include irregular bleeding, weight gain and skin problems.
“I considered this to be joint decision and one I didn’t want my wife to make on her own so I accompanied my wife to our GP’s office to discuss all the options. We felt the implant was best suited so my wife made an appointment with the GP to return the following day for the procedure. Six months on we are both happy, my wife is also thankful of the lighter periods” says Thomas McHale, father of two.
Injectable Contraception
Usually given in the bottom it gives your partner protection from getting pregnant for up to 12 weeks, but she must have regular injections in order to stay protected. It has a similar side effect profile to the implant and some women also find that it takes some time for their fertility to return when they stop using it.
IUD & IUS
The coil or intrauterine device is a small T-shaped plastic and copper device that is inserted through the vagina into the womb usually by a GP. The IUD is a long-acting reversible contraceptive (LARC)which means that once it's in place, your partner does not have to think about contraception every day or each time you both have sex. An IUD can last from three to 10 years and has 99% effectiveness. Changes to your partner’s periods are common resulting in lighter to none altogether. On the other hand an intrauterine system (IUS) is a plastic device that contains a progestogen hormone. It is put into the uterus in a similar way to an IUD and can last up to 5 years.
The Patch & Ring
Both of these methods contain similar hormones to the pill, have the same benefits and frequency of use but have the added bonus of not being needed to be taken daily. The contraceptive patch is stuck on to the skin whilst the ring, a plastic see-through flexible device, sits inside the vagina for three weeks every month. As both contain the female hormone oestrogen they are not a suitable method of contraception for breastfeeding women.
Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding can act as a contraceptive in itself when your partner is without a monthly menstrual period and is fully breastfeeding a baby under six months old. Even if your partner is breastfeeding it is recommended that she speak with her GP regarding other contraceptive options and the safety implications of each method.
Sterilisation
More than 99% effective, male or female sterilisation may be appropriate when a couple decide to choose to have no more children. In the case of female sterilisation the fallopian tubes are cut or blocked so the eggs cannot travel down to meet the sperm. A Vasectomy however is said to be easier as female sterilisation can involve a hospital stay and the operation usually requires a general anaesthetic. A vasectomy works by preventing sperm from reaching the semen that is ejaculated during sex. It is usually considered to be a permanent form of contraception, although in ‘some’ cases the procedure can be reversed. It is a quick and ‘usually’ painless surgical procedure which is carried out under local anaesthetic.
“After everything my wife has gone through with the pregnancies it was the least I could do. The sex is still the same; in fact if I must admit it is a little more adventurous now, it really makes no physical difference whatsoever. The procedure itself did feel like I had been kicked in the groin but the pain didn’t last too long” says Richard Byrne, father of four.
Please consult with your GP for further information and to discuss the suitability and side effects of each listed above.
