Putting my fears of the speech to one side, I soon realised that there were many other, albeit more important duties that the Best Man is expected to do. These may vary depending on what the bride & groom require, but below is a list of some of the main duties that I discovered that you may be asked to do, and how to do them:
You should arrange a fitting for your wedding attire with the groom and groomsmen, and collect the suits a day or two before the wedding. You may also be asked to return the suits.
Organise and execute the bachelor party, the best man is responsible for organising (and with the other groom's attendants), paying for the bachelor party. Rent The Hangover and Bachelors Party – a happy medium is a safe bet to set the tone, should you wish to remain friends with groom after he is wed, note that a new wife scorned is a bad thing, a very bad thing, so leave Amsterdam and Prague for the tourists.
Attend the wedding rehearsal, paying special attention to your duties, but also the duties of the groomsmen.
"You need to be the Robin, to his Batman, the Goose to his Maverick, basically be there for the Groom on his big day. Remember, particularly at the beginning of the day, that the groom might be a bit jittery, so it is your job to calm him down and reassure him that she will turn up! If you consider yourself to be a good friend to the groom, then it is your duty to be his right hand on the day, making sure everything is running smoothly and helping where you can” says Ciara Cronin, founder of http://www.weddingdates.ie/
Make sure the groom arrives at the wedding location on time (about 30 minutes before the wedding starts). The best man is generally responsible for transporting the groom to the church. Once you arrive at the wedding, you're in charge of making sure the groom is not only dressed correctly, but also in the right place. If the wedding is in a church make sure the groom is around for photographs outside the church on arrival, but then moved into the church to prevent him seeing the bride's arrival. You'll join him at the front of the church once inside. Also, supervise the ushers ensuring they are directing guests to their proper places for the ceremony.
You are Frodo so keep the rings safe. You'll be asked to present them during the wedding ceremony. Make sure you can feel them in your pocket at all times. Know which pocket they are in so there is no fumbling or panicking at that critical moment. Try and avoid keeping your hand in your pocket as this can appear sloppy in pictures and on video. If the couple have a ring bearer, you will still be trusted with the real rings – fake rings are often tied to the ring cushion.
After the wedding ceremony, being one of the official witnesses of the legal marriage ceremony, you will be asked to sign the marriage license along with the Chief Bridesmaid. In a church ceremony this is often done away from the guests - in a civil ceremony you'll usually sign it in front of them.
The groom may give you a sealed envelope with a donation to give to the Church, Synagogue or officiate. This doesn’t apply to civil ceremonies where the fees are paid up front. Help the photographer gather and organise the guests for any group shots. There may be people, presents and cars that all need to get from the wedding to the reception. As Best Man, you should make sure that people know where they're going, and that everything that needs to be, is on its way to the reception.
At the reception, you will sit to the left of the groom at the head table, and you will be expected to act as a Master of Ceremonies to a large extent. This involves making several announcements including when the wedding couple enter the room for the wedding meal, you'll probably have to get everyone's attention (tapping on a glass with a spoon will do) telling them "Ladies and Gentlemen, please stand (or be-upstanding) for the Bride and Groom", when everyone should be seated to eat, and making the first toast to the newly wedded couple. It is also quite common for the Best Man to announce the cutting of the cake, and introduce the speakers for the wedding speeches (normally the Bride's Father first, then the Groom, then you).
Make sure you stay on good terms with the future wife of your best friend by not getting too drunk (or letting the groom either!) and keep the speech clean!" says Cronin.
The best man speech is an integral part of every wedding ceremony, and it will probably be remembered long after the special day is over. The speech traditionally honours the groom, but the bride should also be recognised and the happy couple should be heartily congratulated. Best Man speeches, should be prepared well in advance, and not simply improvised on the spot. To be successful the speech must be respectful, but also funny. Your comments about the bride and groom should also be personal and sincere, though it is also important to ensure your words are appropriate for a general audience of all ages!
Few people are willing to trust everything to memory, so consider using cue cards. Appear confident always speaking clearly and slowly, there is nothing worse than a nervous speaker going too fast. Enjoy interruptions, especially funny ones. They provide thinking time and don't be tempted by Dutch courage, drinking too much before speaking will throw you off your game and your audience will not appreciate it at all.
Keep an eye to make sure there are no problems throughout the day that guests fill in the guest book and that wedding cameras are used throughout the meal and evening, you may also be responsible for looking after the wedding presents.
Finally ensure the bride and groom’s luggage and car are ready for departure when they are due to leave and help the couple make a smooth exit, if the transportation is not provided for by the bride and groom, you may be expected to drive the newlyweds to the airport, home or hotel. And you thought the speech was all you had to worry about!
